Writing Blogs and M&M’s

27 Writing blogs vying to make a Top 10 list. To my mind, the list itself is the treasure.

Here’s a favorite found nugget:

Stay away from the peanut M&M’s. You may think they’re harmless, but a handful turns into ten and you’re going to consume just enough calories between September and February to make you hate yourself in March. Remember, you’re spending lots of hours sitting on your ass. Your brain doesn’t burn calories at the same rate as your body. Eat accordingly.

Don’t I know this. You start with the little packet. You move up to the Tear & Share packet — but you don’t share. Then you see the medium-sized bag is on sale at the local market. Then you notice the large bag is also on sale for the same price. Then you’re pushing a wheelbarrow full of lose, custom-printed peanut M&M’s down the purgatory hallway of your dreams, slipping and sliding on the candies that fall out of the barrow until you finally lose your balance and plummet into a swirling cauldron of half-melted pills, only to wake up screaming with the caked-on taste of peanut-flavored chocolate foaming the inside of your mouth like spray-on insulation.

Which is when you finally admit you have a problem and switch to plain.

[Warning: if you are prone to seizures, narcolepsy or zoning out, don’t click here.]

— Mark Barrett